


Broken Circle

by LadyoftheForest8



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bath Sex, Blood Mages, Circle Mages, Cullen Fluff, Cullen Rutherford Angst, Cullen Rutherford Fluff, Cullen Rutherford Has Issues, Cullen Rutherford Smut, Cullen Smut, Demons, Denerim (Dragon Age), Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Love, First Time, Floor Sex, From Sex to Love, Loss of Virginity, Lyrium Withdrawal, Mage-Templar Dynamics (Dragon Age), Mages, Oral Sex, POV Cullen Rutherford, POV First Person, Pining, Possessive Sex, Romance, Sweet Cullen Rutherford, Templars (Dragon Age), Tent Sex, Torture, Tranquil Mages, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:33:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22795603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyoftheForest8/pseuds/LadyoftheForest8
Summary: Phaedra an apprentice mage at the tower finds out her Harrowing is tomorrow. Afraid she may die she decides to seduce Cullen a Templar. Will he risk everything for the one woman he has always wanted? A Templar and a Mage, they both know it is forbidden but their attraction is undeniable.Based in Dragon Age Origins with one chapter in Dragon Age Inquisition.4/30/20 Added 4 new chapters
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Warden, Female Amell/Cullen Rutherford
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as only one chapter in my mind but I couldn’t help myself. No spoilers for DAI.

Tomorrow is my Harrowing, tomorrow I may die. Jowan had pulled me aside to whisper this poison in my ear. All the apprentices gossiped on what the Harrowing could be but not one really knew for sure. One thing was definite everyone feared it. Apprentices who passed became mages of the Circle while some were never seen again. Ever since Jowan had given me this upsetting news, my nerves were on edge.

Climbing a ladder in the library, I hid in my favorite spot. I laid down at the top of the bookcase at the right time of day the sunlight would filter in from a high window. I closed my eyes warming myself in the morning light. I found myself nervously rubbing my fingers against my lips. If I was going to die tomorrow, I did not want to die a virgin. My mind catalogued the other mages in the tower. None struck me as an ideal candidate. I supposed Niall was the best-looking mage but I had never been attracted to him.

I scanned the library to catch Cullen bulky in his Templar armor watching me. His eyes flitted around the room as he cleared his throat. I continued to observe him from my vantage point. He was by far the most handsome men in the tower. However, it would be more difficult to persuade a Templar than a mage.

He was broad of chest but his dark blonde curls were by far his most attractive feature. The shadow of a goatee somewhat visible surrounded his dreamy lips. He turned his gaze back in my direction a slow sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Feeling reckless, I climbed back down the ladder and sauntered over to him. He looked around with a worried expression on his face. We were the only ones in the library that I could see.

“Morning Cullen,” I called watching him blush as I drew closer.

“Oh um, h-hello…” he stuttered shyly. He had always been this way with me since I first met him. At first, I thought he was frightened of me because I was a mage. After observing him with other mages though, I realized he was never flustered like this with anyone but me.

“You are on duty tonight right?” I asked already knowing the answer. Sometimes I would sneak out of my room to borrow a book from the library. Cullen had caught me a number of times but he never told on me. We would have short discussions about what I was reading. He would hurry me back to my room afraid another Templar would find him speaking with me.

“Y-Yes, that’s right,” he replied his hands fidgeted at his sides.

“Maybe I’ll see you tonight,” I smiled wickedly over my shoulder. My plan forming in my mind I practically ran to my room. All day long, I thought on how I could go about seducing Cullen. Inexperienced as I was I thought back on a book, Sword and Shields which we passed around in secret. Direct is best I thought but still stuck on how to get him alone. If caught there would be severe consequences but if I was to die tomorrow what did that matter. There were empty rooms located in the senior mage quarters. A thought occurred to me, which I turned over in my head. There was only one way to find out if it would work.

That night I dressed in a pale green robe, which complimented my fair complexion and dark hair. I curled my hair into long waves cascading down my back. I had borrowed a floral smelling perfume from Keili, gently misting myself. Stepping back, I considered myself in my mirror. Nervously I rubbed my sweaty palms against my sides. It was well past midnight now; I took a deep breath as I walked on bare feet down the hall.

I tiptoed quietly to the library thankfully everyone else asleep. I peeked into the library to see Cullen standing guard in the middle of the room. Taking another deep breath, I padded into the room toward him. He noticed my movement at once his eyes widening at my appearance. I smiled shyly trying to gather my courage.

“Hello again…” I faltered not sure how to begin.

“Phaedra you know you shouldn’t be here. If you are getting a book be quick about it then straight back to your room,” Cullen scolded his voice uneasy. Crestfallen my plan falling apart before it even started. I struggled to accept that tomorrow was truly happening.

“Do you know my Harrowing is tomorrow?” I asked miserably leaning against a nearby bookshelf. His face fell but I could tell he already knew.

“Yes, th-they picked me…to watch you tomorrow,” Cullen stammered but his eyes hooded guiltily. There was something he wasn’t saying but perhaps it had to do with the secrecy of the ceremony.

“I’m afraid…I know you can’t tell me anything but…I wondered if I could see Harrowing Chamber then maybe it wouldn’t be as scary,” I admitted not hoping for much but it was worth a shot. He paused thinking over my request shifting from one foot to the other.

“You know I can’t Phaedra…if we are caught it would be bad for the both of us,” he quavered taking in my sad expression.

“If we are caught I will take the blame, please Cullen,” I begged biting my lip. His eyes fixated on my lips then traveled to my eyes. He struggled with himself sighing deeply he shook his head.

“Stay behind me while I make sure no one else is in the halls,” he resolved walking ahead of me. We encountered not a single person but I held my breath as we passed through the Templar quarters.

Cullen opened the door to the Harrowing Chamber. All the apprentices knew about this room but you never set eyes on it until the day of your Harrowing. Walking up the steps my mouth dropped open at the room’s size. Small lanterns illuminated several columns around the room. The ceiling was breathtakingly high, huge stain glass windows bordered the room. Small silver tables filled with lyrium were scattered throughout the chamber. I ambled around impressed at the intricate patterns designed on the floor.

“It’s amazing, I’m not sure what I was expecting but certainly not this. Thank you for bringing me up here,” I exclaimed turning to look at him. His eyes took in the thinness of my robe tied to one side. “I’m not distracting you am I?” I grinned playing with the collar of my robe watching his eyes follow my hand. “We both know I may not survive tomorrow. I see the way you look at me. I want to be with you just for tonight.”

I untied my robe letting it drop to the floor revealing my naked body. I heard a low-based moan, as he looked me up and down. I pressed myself against him my arms reaching up to cup the back of his neck. I had to rise on my tiptoes to reach him. Kissing his exposed neck alongside his jaw finally reaching his soft lips. His Templar armor massive and cold against my skin.

“Please,” I planted a kiss after every please I whispered against his lips. His hands fisted at his sides refusing to touch me but he was not pushing me off him. My hands groped for his crotch finding him hard for me. “I know you want me, please.” I begged again palming his erection over his robe. I looked up into his eyes to see his struggle, my heart dropping. I stepped back from him ashamed that I had pushed him too far.

“I’m sorry, I thought that you…” I trailed off mortified. The sound of metal hitting the floor made me jump. I watched as Cullen dismantled his armor and robe letting it fall carelessly to the floor. In a light shirt and tight black pants his arms encircled me crushing me to his body. His lips found mine again kissing me fiercely, I moaned when his tongue parted my lips. I opened to him eager to deepen our kiss, his hands roaming to squeeze and caress me.

I pulled at his shirt tucked into his pants up over his head to fall to the floor. My hands strayed to his muscled chest, stomach, and arms delighting in his fit body. He pulled me down with him to my knees, which connected hard with the cold stone floor. He cupped my ass driving his hardness against my own dampening sex. Bending me backward he lay me down on my back, parting my legs to lay himself between them. His tongue met mine again breathless in our exertions. He pressed himself between my legs again while his hands found my breasts. Molding them, he continued to rub himself against me until he gave a strangled cry against my lips. He shivered his breath slowing while his face registered embarrassment. I wasn’t sure what had happened but I slid my mouth back over his.

I explored his mouth slowly enjoying the taste and sensation of our tongues joining. I pushed at the top of his pants wanting to feel all his skin against mine. He withdrew from our kiss to suck and tongue at my neck. Continuing to move lower his lips trailed across my aching nipples. His tongue darted out to taste then suck gently at my erect buds. My eyes fluttered shut keening as I relished his warm mouth. His kisses moved even lower to meet my hips as he parted my legs wider. My heartbeat pulsed throughout my body as his breath tickled along my most intimate parts.

Lowering his head to my center, I felt his tongue languidly circle my pearl. My back bowed as my hands clutched at the ground for purchase. My hands eventually found his curly golden locks as I combed my fingers through it. He lapped at me fervently as I struggled to keep still. I squirmed panting his mouth drinking me in as I jerked to bring myself closer to him. I bucked wildly as I felt his tongue dip inside me then back over to my bundle of nerves. I felt out of control, my face and chest flushed as my core clenched in waves. I rode out those waves finally relaxing my grip on his hair. My hearing slowly came back as I lay there feeling warm and boneless. My body shook with residual pleasure as his tongue slowed.

His mouth withdrew as I watched threw glazed eyes as he removed his pants. He laid himself back over me as I reached to grip the hard thick length of him to my opening. My lips red and swollen I greedily claimed his mouth eager to feel his clever tongue. I stroked him loving the feel of him in my hand along with the sighs escaping his mouth. I brought him closer angling my hips ready for him. He pushed inside stopping at my barrier to finally break threw my body’s last resistance.

A sharp pain caused me to hold of breath, he paused as I stretched around him. Holding my body where he wanted he rocked into me gently. When I raised my hips to meet his body, he increased his rhythm. His weight pressed me harder into the stone floor my breath catching. His eyes wild and dark locked unto mine as he thrust into me. A thin layer of sweat slickened his body as I pressed at his hips. Each forceful stroke I whimpered my need at its peak. He was almost primal driving into me as if he wanted to possess all of me. His heated gaze never left my face as I closed my eyes my release throbbed deep within me. His mouth hovered over mine our panting blended. His lips stifled my deep-throated cries as the release of my orgasm throbbed all over my body. He trembled pouring his pleasure in four more hard strokes. He buried himself deep within me as we cleaved to one another.

Our panting slowed my body still pulsing with its own sweet relief. He rolled off lying beside me onto his back. I turned on my side to face him reaching to put my hand on his chest. I nestled my head at his shoulder as I tried to press myself closer to his body. I wanted to remember all of it, the way my body felt completely satiated. The loveliness of his warm naked body fused with mine. I only had him this one perfect night; I took in his serene expression.

As my high came down, I noticed a dull ache between my legs. My back also sore where it had scraped from the friction against the rough stone ground. I hovered over him kissing his lips just once more as I saw his eyes go from peaceful to panic knowing it was all over. I sat up finding my green robe nearby I brought it around my body to tie it closed. His back to me he redressed in his armor avoiding my gaze.

“I hope you don’t regret it because I don’t…” I let the words hang in the air.

“We should get you back to your room,” he muttered not meeting my eyes. I stayed behind him as we crept back to my quarters. At my door, I paused before entering turning back to him. I took his hand in mine and kissed the inside of his palm.

“I’m glad you will be with me at the Harrowing,” I whispered pressing his palm to my cheek.

“You will do fine tomorrow, I should go back to my post,” he offered pulling his hand away. My plan had been to seduce him; I did not expect to feel this way afterwards. I watched him walk away from me my heart aching.


	2. Chapter 2

Cullen paced the library waiting for his shift change. With each minute that past, he berated himself. When Wylen finally came to relieve him; he tried to walk casually back to the safety of his room. Closing the door, he braced himself against it. Fury overtaking him he punched at the nearby stonewall. Shaking his hand to take away the sting, he ripped at his armor in a rage. He wanted to be a Templar since he was a child and with one act, he had thrown it all away.

It was a complete abuse of his power using mage as he had; she was supposed to be under his protection. He had wanted her for so long but always able to keep himself at a reasonable distance. The desperation swimming in her eyes completely crumbled his resolve. Their coupling rushed when he wished he could had taken his time. Eager to be her first wanting to claim her as his. The guilt of debasing himself just to be with her was overwhelming. What if she ended up pregnant from their tryst?

Stripping himself completely he used a nearby basin of water to cleanse himself. He could still taste her in his mouth, clean and sweet. He played it back in his mind watching her come undone while he savored her succulent flesh. Her cheeks flushed rosy spreading to her chest as she arched herself against his lips. He had been so turned on he had come just from friction of her warm ready body. How she had looked under him as he fought for control. Just thinking on it now caused his cock to rise to attention. He had been too rough taking her in that moment. Noticing her torn back as she turned to redress. The shame of it all hit him like a blow to the chest.

Tomorrow would be even worse, if she did not survive the Harrowing he would need to strike the killing blow. Knight Captain Greagoir called him into his office yesterday to advise him of his responsibilities. The rest of the day his eyes sought out Phaedra as she went about her tasks. He watched her trying to imagine if he could take her life. He laid down in his bed fighting with both sides of himself. He had crossed a line but he could make this right if he never allowed it to happen ever again.

They assembled into the Harrowing chamber the next day preparing themselves. Glancing down to the floor Cullen noticed a small smear of blood on the stone floor, his face flushing. Phaedra walked in escorted by Wylen, her eyes flitted his way but he purposefully kept his face impassive. Irving and Greagoir explained how Phaedra would enter the Fade to face a demon only armed with her will. Greagoir warning her that if she failed she would die.

She nodded her head in acknowledgment as her eyes slid back to his a small smile twitching at the corner of her mouth. Greagoir beckoned her to the small silver table filled with lyrium. He held his breath as he watched her approach it. The lyrium lifted to swirl around her outstretched hand an explosion of light filled the chamber. When the light died down Phaedra had collapsed to the floor. Everyone circled her body, as Cullen remained in the center ready to draw his sword. It was only a few minutes later when she began to stir, Irving checked her assenting she had passed her Harrowing. He requested that one of us carry her back to the apprentice quarters so she could rest.

Cullen exhaled shakily impressed that she had passed her test so quickly. Stepping forward his arms encircled her body to cradle her to his chest. As he carried her down to her quarters, he snuck furtive glances at her peaceful face. She stayed asleep as he laid her down carefully onto her bed. She turned onto her side to face him sighing his name as she continued to sleep.

“Rest Phae,” Cullen whispered brushing a fallen piece hair off her face.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke slowly Jowan’s face above me finally coming into focus. He tried to pry information about the Harrowing from me. Since he had tipped me off, I felt like it was only fair that I try to give him some vague answers. He passed along that I was to meet Irving in his office when I was ready. While taking a bath I imagined Cullen’s hands on me. I pressed my thighs together sighing at the thought.

I stopped by the Senior Enchanter’s desk pocketing some witherstalk. In the great hall, I brewed it into a tea my mind drifting back to last night. I had healed my back and the slight ache between my legs before going to bed. My knees slightly bruised I kept as a sweet secret of our rendezvous. I finished my tea deciding to make my way to Irving’s office.

My heart sped up as I saw Cullen standing guard in the hall outside of the senior mage quarters. I approached him surprised as he smiled at me warmly.

“I am glad to see your Harrowing went smoothly,” he offered studying my face.

“Me too,” I replied trying to not stare at his exquisite lips.

“We were all impressed; it was the quickest Harrowing any of us have attended by far. They picked me as the Templar to strike the killing blow if you became an abomination,” he admitted looking to the floor.

“Would you have really have struck me down?” I asked taken aback now knowing the turmoil he must have struggled with yesterday.

“I would have felt terrible about it…But I serve the Chantry and the Maker, I would do as commanded,” he confessed his eyes dropping again.

“Could we go someplace private to talk?” I questioned glancing up and down the hallway seeing no one else was in the vicinity. I checked the room he stood next to seeing it was empty I stepped inside. He followed me into the room closing the door behind him.

I wanted him so badly but I purposely crossed my arms behind my back in an effort to not touch him. We stared at one another not saying a word my breath quickening. I saw the same struggle in his eyes but refusing to tempt him any further. Ashamed that I had used him for my own selfish purposes.

“This is wrong…” Cullen trailed off but stepped towards me. I backed myself up against the wall not trusting to myself to launch into his body. One of his arms pinned me to the wall as I stared up into his lust filled eyes. “Did I hurt you last night?” He asked his eyes losing some of that heat to reflect a wounded look.

“Yes…but I liked it,” I admitted shyly biting my lip. “Especially that thing you did with your mouth.” I smiled knowingly. A low growl resonated from his chest. He pulled off his gauntlets to set them down on the table. He lowered his mouth to mine, his kiss tender. I opened my mouth anxious to feel his tongue against mine. He stole tiny gasps from my mouth as I felt his hands simultaneously groped one breast the other cupping my ass.

“I want to taste you again,” he whispered against my lips.

He slid down my body reaching under my robes to pull down my small clothes. Bunching my robe up to my waist, he settled his face between my legs. The tip his tongue flicked up slowly to loop around my clit. He brought up one of my legs over his shoulder as I leaned myself back against the hard stonewall. Small sighs escaped my mouth as he lapped at my core. I fisted his hair in my hands grinding myself against his keen tongue. My body thrummed with pleasure as his tongue lapped at my opening. I felt his fingers part my folds, his tongue focused on my throbbing bud.

One thick finger pushed inside of me testing my wetness. As he pumped slowly, he increased the rhythm of his tongue. My body trembled panting as I writhed against him. Another finger added stretched me as his lips closed around my clit. He kissed and sucked while his fingers surged into my warm heat. I watched him devour me his eyes closed relishing in the taste of my body. His amber eyes opened to lock on mine. I felt myself contract around his fingers quaking as my orgasm hit me. Breathless he removed his fingers to continue to lave at me prolonging my euphoria. Caressing at his temple with my thumb, vibrating with need. I gently ran my fingers through his curls, he pulled back smiling up at me. 

He rose up to kiss me again; I tasted myself on his tongue. I fumbled with his robes trying to free him. He caught my hands in his. Surprised I looked up into his face “We don’t have time,” he explained.

“I want you…please,” I pleaded pressing myself against him.

He thought on what I said then turned me around to face the wall. I looked over my shoulder as he pulled down his pants parting his robe. With one quick thrust he hilted himself inside me. I arched back against him, my breath stolen treasuring the sensation of him filling me. My slickened walls pulsed around him he held himself there. Slowly he withdrew to slam back into me. His hand stole around my mouth as he repeated his motion. His other hand gripped at my hip taut to rock into me.

I braced my palms against the wall pushing back to meet his efforts. The urgency of his pace sent my heart racing as he sunk into me repeatedly. I could feel the pant of his warm breath against the skin on the back of my neck. Which he then bit into not hard just pressure of his teeth to stifle his moan. I moaned against his hand as I came again seeing stars burst beneath my eyelids. I felt his hot seed spill into me savoring the sensation. Resting his head in the crook of my neck, we steadied our breathing as he withdrew shakily.

I felt unstable on my feet a warm tingling still running throughout my body. I found my discarded small clothes on the ground. Pulling them back up my body, I turned to look his way. He already straightened his uniform reattaching his gauntlets. Relived I did not see the shame in his face I had seen the night before.

“I’ll leave first then wait for a few moments,” he instructed. He gently kissed my lips once more making for the door. I waited a little longer needing time to compose myself. I exited the room catching his eye my cheeks flushing.


	4. Chapter 4

As Cullen stood guard in the hall, he tried to keep his face passive but every now and then a smile would spread across his lips. He had sworn to not allow himself to be alone with her again. However, after almost losing her he knew that would be impossible. Hearing from her own lips that she wanted him had done him in. 

To be with her it was worth the cost, he was far more concerned with what might happen to her if they were discovered. He would happily throw away his career just to be with her one more time. He knew it was wrong but it felt so right when they were together. He had dreamed and fantasized about her for so long. He loved her it wasn’t just physical for him though he thoroughly enjoyed that part.

He was so proud of how smooth her Harrowing had went. Not surprised, as she was one of the most applied of the apprentices. Later that day he was introduced to Duncan, a Grey Warden visiting the tower appealing for more support as the war brewed in Ostagar. Cullen’s thoughts interrupted as he noticed Hersh, a fellow Templar hurrying his way.

“Cullen we need some back up on the first floor,” Hersh beckoning him to keep up. “One of the apprentices turned out to be a blood mage. After attacking Greagoir and Irving, he escaped. We detained an accomplish but Greagoir is sending out a party after him,” he said panting trying to keep his voice down.

“Who was it?” Cullen asked trying to wrap his mind around this news.

“Jowan somehow he convinced Lily and Phaedra to help him,” Hersh explained as they finally reached the first floor of the tower. At the mention of Phaedra’s name, he inhaled a sharp breath. “I know I am just as shocked. Apparently, one of them was romantically involved with him. Greagoir is furious; I would stay out of his way if I were you.”

Cullen’s thoughts raced, Phaedra could not be involved he refused to believe that. Still the doubts crept that she could have been manipulating him this whole time. There were several Templars crowded near the repository basement. Two Templars led Lily away; she looked terrible tears streaked down her cheeks. Hersh stepped toward Greagoir gesturing at Cullen.

“Cullen, would you take Phaedra back to her room? You can resume your regular duties afterwards,” Greagoir ordered turning his back to continue arguing with Irving and Duncan. Cullen signaled to Phaedra to follow keeping his face blank. They did not speak until they reached her door. She shared her new quarters with two other mages.

“We can’t talk here meet me tonight in Wynne’s room,” he whispered into her ear. She nodded her face pale and troubled. He walked away briskly not looking back. He went back to his own room changing out of his armor. The wait was excruciating but he comforted himself knowing she was safe for now. Unable to wait any longer he crept the halls to Wynne’s room.


	5. Chapter 5

The events of the day had taken a toll on me. I still could not come to grips with the knowledge that one of my good friends was secretly a blood mage. If I had went along with his plan I would be going to a mage prison or possibly made Tranquil for helping him. Everything had happened so fast I was still trying to wrap my mind around it. I would be leaving the Circle tomorrow with Duncan to become a Grey Warden.

I waited until my two other roommates were deep asleep. I stuffed my bed with clothes to make it appear as if I were asleep in my bed. Quietly as possible, I tiptoed to Wynne’s room only two doors down. I closed the door setting down my candlestick on her dressing table. Wynne had been gone for months in Ostagar to help King Cailan. I sat at her desk staring at my ghostly reflection. Worry etched my widened eyes, my skin appeared white almost luminescent. How could I leave him just when I was beginning to fall for him? I had set out to trap him, which had sprung back on me.

The door opened slowly I turned to see a figure enter the room. He was not wearing his armor I almost didn’t recognize him until I found his concerned eyes. I stood up and flung myself into his arms. Relieved he was not wearing his armor so I could feel his whole body against mine. His strong arms wrapped around me soothing my fears.

“Are you alright? What happened?” Cullen murmured into my neck rubbing small circles on my back.

“Jowan wanted me to help him escape with Lily. I told Irving everything he made me pretend to go along with their plan. I had no idea Jowan was a blood mage, I swear. Greagoir was furious convinced I knew. Duncan offered me the option to join the Grey Wardens. I wasn’t given much of a choice, I leave tomorrow. I don’t want to be separated from you,” I choked my voice hoarse with emotion. He cupped my head to his chest; I listened to the beating of his heart. I felt him sigh against my body as tears welled in my eyes.

He pulled back to stare down confused into my face. I saw the range of emotions flicker across. Finally all that was left was love shining in his eyes. I kissed him with all that I had so he could feel that I felt the same. Our kiss heated verging on desperate as he drove me backwards towards the bed. I tore at his clothes while also pulling off my own. Breathless and hurried we clung to one another our hands frantic to touch each other everywhere.

Frenzied he plunged himself inside me gripping under my ass to bring himself as deep as possible. I stifled my cry with the back of my hand. The weight of his body pressing me deeper into the mattress at his urgent thrusts. His skin slapped against mine with the impact of his need. I wrapped my arms around his neck to bring his face level with mine. Our mouth consumed one another’s as we sighed and panted our breath mingling together. An intense pressure built inside of me spilling me over. I refused to close my eyes in ecstasy. I needed to capture every moment knowing it would be our last time. I stared deep into his hungry eyes his rhythm wild with passion. I dug my nails into his arms as I spasmed around him again. He shuddered as I felt his warm spurts fill me up.

“I love you,” I swore cupping his stubbled cheek. He hovered above me kissing me gently on my forehead, neck, and lips. We stayed locked in one another’s arms as long as we dared. Finally he pulled away to redress slowly. I sat up reaching for my own clothes the silence between us thick with sorrow. I pulled my robe back over my head sitting on the bed beside him. I took a shuddering breath finally looking over to meet his eyes. He took my hand in his and placed a silver necklace in my palm.

“This was given to me by my sister. It’s enchanted; whomever wears it is protected against blood magic. I want you to have it, something to remember me by,” Cullen smirked his smile pulling to one side. I examined the amulet a thin silver chain with a small amber stone set in the middle. I pulled it over my head looking down at the stone settled on my chest.

“I’ll never take it off,” I quavered my fingertips caressing the small stone. “I’m scared…” I admitted tears filling my eyes. He arms pulled me closer to him; he lifted my chin so I had looked up into his lovely eyes.

“You are going to be an amazing Grey Warden,” Cullen proclaimed leaning down to kiss my lips. “No matter what happens, I will always love you,” he pledged kissing me softly one last time.

I held back my tears as he walked me back to my door. He reached out to chuck me under the chin. Smiling sadly at one another, he turned to walk down the hall. I watched until he turned the corner opening my door quietly. Tears coursed down my cheeks allowing myself to feel my grief. Tomorrow I would put my sadness aside and be fearless Grey Warden he knew I could be.


	6. Chapter 6

Cullen made sure to request door duty the next day with Silas. He watched as Phaedra said goodbye to her fellow mages. His heart breaking to know he would most likely never see her again. Nonetheless, he was extremely proud she was be leaving the tower to become a Grey Warden. Honestly, it was safer for her to be outside the tower enjoying her freedom. One slip up which was bound to happen and she would be carried off to a mage prison or worse. The idea made his stomach turn. As much as he would like to keep her here with him, she was better off with the Grey Wardens.

She hugged Irving tight looking over his shoulder her eyes locked on his. Duncan finally able to part Phaedra from the group clustered around her. She waved to the rest walking with Duncan towards the exit. Cullen pushed open the door while they passed through. Duncan walked ahead while Phaedra turned around smiling bravely at him. He smirked while she fished out her necklace hidden under her robe. She kissed the amber stone while she gesturing under her chin for him to hold his head high. He nodded chest tightening while a lump formed in his throat. She turned back around rushing to catch up to Duncan at the dock. He closed the door with a heavy thud his resolve set.

Cullen soon found a daily routine to help the days go by. Only a few weeks later Wynne and Uldred returned to the tower. Interested in hearing news of Ostagar he lingered in the hall. King Cailan died at the battle at Ostagar while Wynne and Uldred argued on the cause. Cullen at once grew concerned knowing that is where she and Duncan were heading. Voices rose and fell blaming Grey Wardens then Loghain.

“Cullen go get back up,” a voice called out from the great hall. An explosion rocked the hall sending Cullen running to the Templar quarters. As he reached the stairs he threw the door open. Cullen felt the static rise around him then a flash of blinding light.

He woke on the cold stone ground to screams and groans. Picking himself up he blinked hard several times trying to peer around a haze of light. His eyes adjusting he tried to step forward suddenly hit with a jolt of electricity. Looking around he saw he was trapped in cage of purple light. Hearing screams again he spotted Wylen running towards him. Wylen’s body flew backwards as he collided with the cage thudding against the nearby wall. A mage skidded into the room sighting Wylen’s crumpled body he threw a smirk Cullen’s way. The mage cast a spell lifting Wylen’s body up in the air to hover near Cullen’s cage.

Wylen woke abruptly, fear widening his eyes as he lifted a hand reaching for Cullen. Wylen’s body suddenly engulfed in flames. Arms still outstretched his screams reached a crescendo as his armor turned red from the heat. His screams died away while his skin turned black and began to crack. Cullen closed his eyes horrified to bear witness to his friend’s death. Cullen cradled his head in his hands rocking while reciting the chants of light.

More screams echoed down the hall, he finally lifted his head. Uldred strolled in leading several mages their wrists restrained. Cullen recognized Irving struggling with his bindings as they were forced up the steps to the Harrowing chamber. Uldred bark orders to a small group of mages as they scattered to do his bidding. A female mage he did not recognize pushed Hersh and Silas to kneel before Uldred.

Uldred gave them a choice to join him, Hersh refusing outright. Uldred froze his arm as the female mage beside him swung her staff in an arch breaking it into tiny pieces. They continued with each limb until tiring of his screams Uldred froze what was left of him in a block of ice. Silas horrified agreed to join Uldred bowing at his feet. Uldred performed blood magic on Silas turning him into an abomination.

Cullen did not know how long it had been since he had eaten. He had never gone this long without lyrium his hands shaking with withdrawal. He heard Phaedra’s voice call his name, confused he stood up. There she was standing in front of his cage. She looked almost ethereal a gentle wind blowing her hair around her head.

“Cullen, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” she breathed a small smile upon her lips. “Come away with me, my love,” she beckoned her arms outstretched.

“Phae…? How are you here?” Cullen croaked his throat dry.

“I came back for you. Don’t you want to be with me? Let us leave this place far behind. I can release you from this cage if you let me in,” she lamented stepping closer.

“Let you in…what are you talking about,” Cullen asked shaking his head. He looked closer at her, something was not right. Terror filled his chest as he backed away. “You are not Phaedra.”

I deep throated laugh sent shivers down his spine. “You are a lot harder to convince then your fellow Templars,” she sighed. “If you won’t let me in, I supposed I can amuse myself with your pain.” Pulling a dagger out from behind her back.

Phaedra placed the blade to her throat a maddening smile spreading across her lips. Cullen knew it wasn’t her but he still screamed for her to stop. Still smiling she dragged the blade across her throat. Blood pooled at the wide gash soaking her robes. Cullen closed his eyes, tears coursing down his cheeks.

When he reopened them she was gone, he looked to the ground seeing no blood staining the floor. Racking sobs burst from his chest he felt his sanity begin to slip. Slumping to the ground, he hugged himself continuing to rock back and forth. The sound of armor and boots carried down the hall. Cullen lifted himself up again to see Greagoir sprint into the room.

“Cullen, I can’t believe you are still alive. Did you see Phaedra come through here?” Greagoir questioned staring at the cage around him.

“No, I thought I did but it was a trick. Is she really here?” Cullen rasped rubbing his face.

“Yes, she is helping the blood mages. That was her plan all along,” Greagoir stressed swinging his blade coated in blood.

“No, that can’t be. She would never…she is a Grey Warden” Cullen whispered his eyes darting around the room.

“How do you think she managed that? She seduced Duncan so she could be free of the tower. She joined with Uldred at Ostagar to bring ruin to the Circle. Why do you think she helped Jowan escape? They were lovers, she is a blood mage just like him,” Greagoir thundered his eyes wild.

Cullen felt his stomach lurch; he dropped to all fours dry heaving. Greagoir’s maniacal laughter resounded around him. He shut his eyes again and reopened them to Wylen’s burnt corpse but Greagoir was gone. Cullen collapsed to the floor curling himself into a tight ball. Sometime later minutes, hours, days he could not tell anymore he heard his name again.

Looking up he saw Phaedra again bending down to peer at him. With difficulty, he stood swaying with exhaustion. He stepped closer to his cage squinting his eyes.

“Cullen, do you need help?” Phaedra asked her voice flat. Rubbing his eyes, he noticed an image of sunburst branded onto her forehead. He observed her hollow eyes devoid of emotion staring at him.

“You are not Phaedra!” he screamed shaking with rage.

“Look at what they did to me…this is all your fault,” Phaedra stated her speech monotone. Cullen threw himself against his cage, the shock throwing him back to the center. When he realized he could not escape this nightmare; he kneeled down to pray for his death.


	7. Chapter 7

Looking down at Cullen surrounded by light I approached him slowly. Each body I passed on my way through the tower I had expected to see his face among them. When I found him at last I breathed a sigh of relief. Observing the nearby burned body and pieces of another that breath became trapped in my chest. He finally looked up to see me his eyes wild and unfocused. He thought I was a demon or a trick of his mind. I could not touch him to prove that I was real.

He shivered in fear holding his head tormented by visions meant to break him. I did not realize how far gone he was until he begged for me to kill him. Maker only knows what he had been through to change him to what was trembling before of me. I finally convinced him I was real but I could tell he did not fully believe me still.

I explained how Greagoir had allowed us to in the tower to stop Uldred. He pleaded with me to kill the rest of the mages. At first angered by his request, I consoled myself by seeing the state he was in. My fury at what was done to Cullen as well as my home directed to a single person. I stomped up the stairs to the Harrowing chamber.

We walked out of the chamber after in my rage I tore Uldred apart. Cullen still stood frozen in his same spot. His cage was gone but he had yet to move from his prison. I asked Wynne help Irving while Alistair conveyed to Greagoir what had transpired. Leliana lingered in the hall while I attempted to approach Cullen. I drew closer to him my hands held out in front of me.

“Cullen…will you come with me? You need rest and food. How long have you been trapped here?” I asked my hand reaching to rest on his upper arm. He flinched at my touch stepping backward his eyes still darting around the room not trusting his surroundings.

“Why did you let those mages live? They could still be dangerous, you don’t know what Uldred may have done to them,” Cullen’s eyes blazed as he raked his fingers through his hair.

“They aren’t dangerous, they were being held by Uldred. We killed him before he could change them into abominations,” I explained, my heart going out to him. He cackled nothing like his normal laughter that always brought a smile to my face. “Cullen you need help, please let me help you,” I quavered stepping closer but not touching him. I wanted to hold him so badly but knew he was in no state to receive comfort from me.

He looked into my eyes which I could see still did not believe. A shadow of recognition flickered in his eyes. Exhaustion etched his features his shoulders stooping with resolve. I gestured him to follow me down the hall. I led him to his room asking Leliana to gather some food and water. I turned back to Cullen as he tried to unbuckle his armor his hands shaking violently.

“Let me help you, I will my best not to touch you,” I calmed stepping forward he nodded wearily but stayed silent. I unfastened the pieces carefully trying to avoid touching his bare skin. “Do you have any lyrium here?” I asked when he was finally stripped of his armor and robes. He pointed to a cabinet across the room. I rifled around finding a box with a Templar sigil branded on the top. He collapsed onto the bed taking the kit from my hands.

Still shaking he was able to swallow a small dose of lyrium. Leliana knocked lightly stepping into the room holding out a cup of water. He drained the cup in rapid suggestion pushing away the food. His eyes closed and soon he was deep asleep. I watched his chest rise and fall as I drew in a shaky breath.

“What do you think happened to him?” I trembled my voice thick with emotion.

“Maker only knows…I have seen that look before. They tortured him…he may recover in time. What’s the plan?” Leliana questioned placing her hand on my back.

“We should stay here tonight. I’ll talk it over with Alistair but I imagine we can’t stay long,” I lamented looking back to Cullen’s figure. Leliana nodded excusing herself; I pulled a chair close to his bed to watch over him. I must have fallen asleep as a knock on the door woke me. Wynne entered carrying a pitcher of water. Cullen still fast asleep his eyes bruised and swollen with fatigue.

“I came to check on you both. Irving is shaken but he is finally resting as well. How is he?” Wynne inquired pouring water into a cup.

“I don’t know…he hasn’t eaten. He tossed and turned for a bit but mostly just resting,” I fretted noticing his breath quickening.

“I don’t mean to pry but what is so special about this Templar?” Wynne questioned handing me the cup of water. I drank deep realizing I had yet to eat or drink myself.

“He isn’t like the other Templars,” I snapped irritably. “Sorry, he isn’t like the rest he…well that was before what happened here…” I trailed off my eyes watering.

“You love him,” Wynne stated it was not a question. I swallowed the lump in my throat, nodding as tears wet my cheeks. “I understand…I was involved with a Templar as well” she admitted her own face registering sorrow.

“What happened?” I sniffled surprised at her admission. 

“That is a story for another time. Let’s just say it did not end well but it could have been much worse. I’ll leave you, Alistair wants to leave tomorrow we still have much to do,” Wynne passed on closing the door behind her. I turned back to Cullen noticing his breathing slow and steady again.

I tentatively reached for his hand afraid he would wake and pull away from me. I could not bear to see that look he had given me when I stood before him trapped as he had been. I held his hand waiting to see a change in his breathing but if anything, he looked more relaxed. I held his hand to my cheek pressing my lips to his knuckles. He sighed with contentment the lines around his mouth smoothing.

“I should have never left you. I will never forgive myself for enticing you. Every time I was with you I thought would be the last. I think this time it really will be true,” I agonized over the idea of leaving him again. I released his hand to pull back his blankets. Still dressed I laid down beside him using his shoulder as a pillow. I stared up at his face reaching to outline his strong jaw line with my fingertip. Curled next to his body his heat making me drowsy. I feel asleep my hand resting on his chest.

When I woke his arms encircled my body holding me tight. He was still asleep as I carefully untangled myself. I pulled his amulet over my head feeling the guilt of its protection. I placed the chain around his neck hiding the stone under his shirt.

“I don’t know if I will ever see you again. I hope you find some peace, my love. I will love you until I take my last breath,” I whispered caressing his stubbled cheek wishing I could see his golden eyes one last time. Tears spilling down my face I pressed my lips to his. Wiping a rogue tear that had fallen on his face I looked at him one last time. I stood up my back-straightening ready to put an end to the Blight.


	8. Chapter 8

9:42 Dragon 

Alistair led me into the throne room of Skyhold. For weeks, he had been pestering me to join him on his journey. I had finally relented excited at the chance to see Leliana and meet the Herald of Andraste. My eyes searched the room for familiar faces. Alistair kept sneaking playful glances in my direction. Several onlookers clustered around whispering and staring our Grey Warden armor glinting in the candle light.

The crowd parted and there he was, Cullen Rutherford. It was as if time stopped and my hearing shut down. Even after all this time, he could still steal the breath from my body. Alistair pushed and pulled at my arm directly over to where he stood. Cullen’s face froze in shock as well, his mouth slightly agape. Slight worry lines clung around his mouth and eyes. He was more handsome then I remembered from my youth. Covered in tan leathers the hint of silver armor peeking through with a black and red fur mantle. His hair not the tight curls I remember relaxed somewhat styled but the same golden color.

We stared at one another not saying a word. Alistair cleared his throat while nudging me with his elbow. Sighing he gave up “Phaedra, I believe you know Cullen. He is the Commander of the Inquisition,” Alistair introduced his face unable to control his glee.

“Y-Yes…it’s good to see you,” I stammered unsure of the man before me. Was he still the man I feel in love with? Or the shell I had left back at Kinloch hold?

“I was just telling Phaedra about the wonderful garden here at Skyhold. Perhaps Commander you would show her around for me? If you’ll excuse me I see the Inquisitor beckoning me,” Alistair teased slipping off before I could grab ahold of his arm.

“I thought I would never see you again…” he murmured mystified running his fingers through his hair.

“I had no idea you would be here. I can see now why Alistair kept insisting I accompany him. He does love to surprise me,” I admitted my eyes not able to tear away from his. How many times had I dreaded or wished for this moment?

“I could use some air, would you walk with me?” Cullen asked as he took my arm. My heart beating faster in my chest, I nodded. Even though there were several layers of clothing and armor between us, the offer of his arm thrilled me. _I am a Grey Warden, the Hero of Ferelden. Why did I feel like a girl nervous to be alone with him?_

“The last I heard of you was the tragedy in Kirkwall. Now you are a Commander of the Inquisition, are you still a Templar as well?” I asked interested in his change of position.

“Over the years, I saw that the Templars weren’t about protection as much as submission. I left the Templars after what happened in Kirkwall,” he answered opening a door but taking hold of my arm again. We entered outdoor area, benches bordering the small garden.

“Is there a Mrs. Rutherford?” I inquired my question blatant in its intent. I watched his confused expression puzzle over my question.

“Of course not. It’s always been you Phae, surely you know that,” He stopped walking to gaze down into my eyes. My breath caught in my throat at his words. I swallowed hard my mouth suddenly dry.

“You don’t hate me? I blamed myself all these years for tempting you. How different your life would have been if you had never involved yourself with me. You would have been protected that night if you had not given me your amulet. You couldn’t bear to look at me let only touch you when I saw you last. What changed?” I questioned holding my breath.

“I was not in my right mind for some time. What happened to me…” he sighed then found the strength to go on. “It was difficult for me to not blame mages after what I went through. There is evil and hatred on both sides, I saw that all too well in Kirkwall. Ever since you left Kinloch hold, I had been living a half-life. When I saw your face just now, it was as if no time had come between us. Is it too much to hope that you might feel the same?” he queried taking both my hands in his.

I looked down admiring our hands entwined. I squeezed his hands expecting myself to wake. Taking a shuddering breath, I looked up into the golden pools of his eyes. “I dreamt of you so often. Whenever I was scared or unsure about what to do I would think of you. I never allowed myself to hope that we could ever be together again,” I admitted tears falling from my eyes. His gloved thumbs gently brushed the tears from my cheeks.

“May I kiss you?” he requested his voice low with want.

“Yes,” I whispered my body flushing with need. Almost in slow motion, our faces tilted toward one another’s. Our mouths hovered close but not quite meeting. My lips quivered as he tentatively pressed his lips to mine. It was barely a kiss, ghostly but tender.

He pulled me closer into his warm body a sigh escaping my lips. He claimed my mouth again this time with more persistence. He cupped the back of my head, his mouth answering mine. I parted my lips to feel his tongue slip into my mouth. Our kiss deepened but with a slow sweetness as we savored one another. Breaking our kiss, I trembled with desire while he gasped for air.

Abruptly Cullen led me by the hand back through the hall. Alistair caught my flushed expression raising his cup in my direction. Cullen pulled me along the fortress to small tower room. Candles lit the small meekly furnished room. Eyes adjusting to the dim light I saw two bookcases propped next to a large desk. I noticed a ladder in the middle of the room as he hastened to bolt both doors.

“What’s up there?” I puzzled pointing to the ladder.

“Have a look,” he smirked opening drawers on the desk. Curiosity had me intrigued; I climbed the ladder pulling myself into what could be called a bedroom. I laughed that the maleness of the room. Cullen crested the ladder with a bottle in one hand. He poured some wine into a cup handing it to me. I sipped timidly rolling the tart wine in my mouth. Taking a deeper drink, I passed the cup back to him. He quaffed the rest setting the cup down on a nearby table.

He stepped closer to me, my heart fluttering in my chest. “How has time not touched you? You look as lovely as you did that night in the Harrowing chamber,” he mused playing with a strand of my hair. “Whenever we were together it was always rushed. I mean to take my time with you tonight,” he breathed against my lips.

I felt scared and awkward it had been so long since we had last been together. I opened my mouth to him tasting of spices and fruit. My hands encircled his neck to bring him closer. It all came flooding back to me the way our bodies responded to one another.

An ache clutched low in my body needing release. He stepped back to help remove my Grey Warden armor. He took his time as I assisted him in turn until we were both naked before each other. I noticed his amulet hanging around his neck. I touched the amber stone mournfully as the memories came back. His hand reached to cup a firm breast the heat of his hand setting my nerves ablaze. My nipples responding to his touch as his mouth kissed and sucked at my neck.

My legs felt weak as he stirred the raw hunger in my body. He slowly walked me backward towards his bed. Laying me down gently as I stared up into his amber eyes. I pulled him back down to capture his lips against mine again. His hands roved my body lightly fondling as his mouth devoured mine.

I groaned as he broke our kiss to trail down my body. He seized one breast teasing it against his lips. I arched closer to him as his tongue circled one hardened peak then the other. He sucked delicately then harder as I groaned low reaching to run my fingers through his hair. My skin vibrating with lust as he settled himself between my legs. He kissed along the inside of each thigh as I licked my lips in anticipation.

His tongue was even better than I remembered or fantasied. So many nights I had played back the feeling of his mouth on my skin. He swirled unhurried, moaning against my mound. I clutched at the bed sheets trying to keep still. It had been too long since I had been touched. I keened at the sensation of his warm breath stirring me as his tongue flicked back and forth. I screamed my pleasure much too soon. Shuddering I stared up at the ceiling seeing the open sky littered with winking stars.

“What do you do when it rains?” I asked panting; he moved up to lay beside me. His hands nimbly running to capture my curves. He kissed the hollow of my neck then sucked at my earlobe.

“There is a magic seal on the roof. But honestly it doesn’t rain all that often here,” He grinned turning on his side. We kissed again as I traced my fingertips down his warm muscled flesh. I kissed my way down his scared chest marveling at his toned stomach. I took him in my hand thick and swollen squeezing him lightly. He emitted a sigh as I brought him to my lips. Licking tentatively as first I rolled him in my mouth. Finally sliding my mouth over him as he groaned with desire. He pulsed in my hand as I savored each stroke up and down. I took him as far as I could, my eyes watering at the effort.

“I won’t last long if you keep that up,” he said breathily his own hands fisting the bed sheets. I looked up still not believing this beautiful man was truly laid out before me.

“Just as you said we have all night,” I tempted taking him deep in my mouth again. My other hand found his balls high and tight. He was close as I stroked his wet quivering shaft. I pumped him into my mouth sucking deep. I felt his warm seed fill my mouth as I drank down his essence. We said we would take our time but apparently, our bodies had not received that message. His body in a state of afterglow erased the harsh lines on his face. He resembled the man I came to love so long ago.

Licking my lips, I spied the wine bottle on the nearby table. Pouring more wine into the cup I brought it back to the bed. I sat beside him my back against the headboard. Swallowing a mouthful, I offered him the cup.

“Your body responded so quickly. Have you had many lovers since you left the tower?” He questioned sitting up beside me.

I chuckled surprised he would ask such a question. “I have had plenty of offers from both men and women. They only wanted to bed the Hero of Ferelden. But to answer your question, no…” I revealed not asking the same of him. I did not want know if he had found comfort with another.

“So you and Alistair…never…” he trailed off but cocked his head to one side.

I snorted almost choking as I went to take another drink. “Maker, no. Rumors abound about us ever since we stopped the Blight. Alistair is one of my oldest and dearest friends. We have been through a lot together. I don’t think he could be serious enough to broach the subject without laughing,” I smiled seeing him relax at my admission. I set down the empty cup turning back to him.

“I suppose I should thank him for bringing us together then. We fought together at Adamant but there was never any time for us to speak. Does he know…about us I mean?” He asked pulling me closer to him so I leaned against his back. His legs splayed on either side of me his lips daintily kissing along my shoulder to my neck.

“Well…yes. After the Blight, we both rejoined the Grey Wardens in Orlais. When he asked me about you, I was shocked as I had never mentioned you before. Apparently I call out your name when I sleep,” I confessed turning to see his smile pull to one side. The scar above his upper lip accentuated his smirk tugging an ache low in my body. I passed my thumb across it tenderly. “This is new, as are these,” I touched the other marks across his chest.

“Yes, though I see you have acquired new scars as well,” he drew a fingertip on the scar on my right shoulder. Dipping down to outline a deeper scar on my left thigh. His touch sent shivers down my body, closing my eyes to appreciate his callous hands parting my thighs. One hand fondled at my breast while the other rubbed at my slit. I turned my head to capture his mouth relishing his lips. His finger found my entrance circling it teasingly. I moaned into his open mouth wanting more.

The ache between my legs almost painful with need. I gasped as he delved his finger into my tight slickness. He slowly withdrew to gingerly rub my clit then dipped his finger back in again. I fought with my body to hold back the sensation building within me. He drew back from our kiss to gaze at my face as I tightened around his finger. He retracted again as I groaned distressed, my body on the brink.

Sinking two fingers inside me, I bowed at the rush of throbbing. Still achingly slow, I drew ragged breaths pleading with him for more. Gripping the back of his head, I leaned back parting my legs wider. He granted my request increasing his efforts. He kept hitting that perfect spot as I felt myself explode in exhilaration. A wave of bliss tremored within to radiate throughout my body. As I came down his mouth covered mine, anxious to taste his tongue.

I turned around to face him moving to straddle his lap. Our kiss deepened as I pulled at his hips. Finding him hard and ready, I guided him to my wet opening. My pale skin bathed in candlelight almost glowed with arousal. The intimacy of his gaze lingered on my image as I rode his body. My arms gripping his biceps while he grasped my hips to mirror my motion.

Anchored deep within me I rocked arching against him. He grabbed my ass bringing me closer until again he was circling that spot of tension. Enthralled I surrendered to our movements ardent at the friction of our flesh. His grip tightened stealing the breath from my lungs as I came again.

Breathing heavy he moved down the bed to flip me unto my back. Our bodies still tethered he held his body captive over mine. In one fluid motion, he pinned my hands above my head. Surging forward he buried himself deep then turning into powerful thrusts. Still held down he savaged my breasts sucking then teasing with his teeth. I yelped at the urgency of his passion turning into soft whimpers. He released my hands to better position himself.

Bringing my legs up he used my knees for leverage to drive himself as deep as he could. His angle hitting me deep on the edge of pleasure and pain. I gazed down our bodies watching him slide in and out of me. My slickened walls pulsed and constricted with my orgasm. His efforts causing the headboard to knock repeatedly against the wall. His pace increased as he faltered to bring his own release. I sobbed his name between moans my eyes never leaving his. 

My core still pulsed as he released a strained groan spending himself. We lay connected in the most intimate of embraces. I felt utterly fulfilled holding him close united as one. Covered in a thin layer of sweat he held himself above me to stare down into my face. I leaned forward to kiss that intriguing scar at his lip he smiled softly. “I love you,” I whispered against his lips, kissing to sample them once more.

His eyes hooded in contentment stroked at my hair. “I don’t know what the future holds for us but I have always loved you. Until my last breath…”he smiled knowingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked my story, please leave kudos. It is sadly how I validate my writing, which is purely for fun, but it sure feels good to see the hits and kudos roll in. Check out my other stories. If anyone has ideas for future Cullen stories message me. I have a few ideas on the back burner but I’m sure I will continue at least for just single chapters. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the request of a comment I finally decided to add four more chapters. Enjoy!

When I woke, the room glowed in the soft morning light. Rays of light filtered in through the exposed roof. Blinking sleepily, I stretched enjoying the slight ache of last night’s exertions. Glancing over my shoulder, I beheld the most wonderful sight. I turned my body to better observe his sleeping figure. Not wanting to wake him, I simply watched him with amazement. I felt like pinching myself at being so close to him again. His muscled chest rose and fell slowly with each breath. His large frame sprawled out made the bed seem smaller than it was. Glancing around the room, I shook my head smiling. It could do with a woman’s touch but it was perfectly him.

A small pitiful moan drew my attention back to him. His eyelashes trembled while his body fought some invisible force. Between his moans, I heard all too clearly my name. As so often I dreamt of him, he had only nightmares of me. I caressed his cheek calling his name softly to wake him gently. His eyes popped open fear widening his eyes. When he saw me the alarm remained but lessened somewhat.

“Phaedra?” he asked his breathing still panicked. His eyes darted around the room seeing there was no danger he relaxed.

“It’s me, you were having a nightmare,” I consoled combing my fingers through his hair. Guilt heavy in my chest to know I was at the source of his terror.

“They have been getting worse since I stopped taking lyrium,” he explained reaching for my other hand he smiled. “I hope I didn’t worry you.” He brought my hand to his lips, kissing the inside of my wrist.

“That’s alright, I like worrying about you. I was just about to do down and find us some breakfast,” I smirked cheerfully throwing off the blankets. I dressed quickly sitting back beside him on the bed. He looked so handsome the blanket barely covering his nakedness. I closed my eyes settling myself least I jumped back into his bed. “I never expected this to happen when I came here. A lot has happened to me and to you since we last saw each other. I would like it very much if we could talk some more when I come back.”

Concern etched his eyes he studied my expression with hesitation. “Why do I feel like this is bad news?”

“It’s not, I just feel like you deserve to know what has happened since we parted.” I leaned down to kiss him trying to hide my nervousness. He smiled nodding but he still looked apprehensive. I stood inhaling a shaky breath as I descended down into his office. My hands anxiously wringed themselves as I tried to find my way to the kitchens. Seeing Alistair seated at a table in the throne room I sat down heavily beside him.

“I thought you would look more relaxed with how you both rushed out of here last night. Are you sweating?” he asked peering closer at my uneasy expression.

“Why didn’t you tell me he would be here?” I exclaimed my voice almost shrill.

“You would have never come that why. It is foolish to deny yourself happiness. You’ve seen him he isn’t the same man we encountered at the tower,” Alistair explained taking a drinking of ale. “Did you tell him yet?” He glanced around making sure no one was listening. “Did you tell him he has a daughter?”

I hastily took his plate and cup throwing him an angry look over my shoulder. If Alistair had told me, the truth of why he wanted me to accompany him I could have prepared myself. Everything between Cullen and I had happened so fast. Muttering to myself as I entered his office to find him dressed seated behind his desk. Flashing another anxious smile, I set down the plate and cup. He looked just as tense as I leaned down to kiss him once more.

“I’m not sure how best to say this so I’ll just say it and answer any questions that you have,” I swallowed hard it almost hurt. “You have a daughter.” I let the announcement settle into silence. He froze to the spot, his mouth opening then closing.

“How? I mean I know how. When? Well I guess I answered that as well. Where is she?” he finally settled on his question. He rested his fisted hands against his head hiding his face from me.

“She lives in Denerim. Her name is Adlyn, she is ten now. I visit her as often as I can,” I offered leaning against his desk. “She is a ward of Queen Anora. I never told you because at first I couldn’t find you. I knew you were in Kirkwall for a time. When we last parted, I didn’t think you would want to see me again.”

“Does she know about me?” he questioned looking up tears glistened on his cheeks. I had prepared myself for anger or loathing but his sorrow so heavy it choked me.

“Of course. It didn’t seem right to keep the truth from her. She understands why she must remain a secret and my duty to the Wardens. Alistair and I were planning on stopping in Denerim before heading back to Weisshaupt. If you feel up to it I know she would like to meet you.” I reached out to stroke his cheek but stopped myself. “I want to tell you everything; I suppose I’ll start at the beginning.

While we journeyed to Denerim, I told him all of it. How I had discovered I was pregnant just before the battle of Denerim. Wynne actually clued me in when she began to notice changes. Luckily, I did not start to show until after the battle, bulky armor has its advantages. Adlyn born just three short months after the battle. I told him how terrified I was about the prospect, worried what affect the taint could have on a baby. With the help of a select few, I hid away in the palace. Anora agreed to foster and protect Adlyn afraid if the Chantry found out they would take her.

Choosing to leave her was the hardest decision I ever had to make but I had to in order to keep her safe. At least once a year or more, I would stop by the palace to visit with her. She enamored with me it didn’t hurt that I always brought presents. When the Circle finally fell, she had just turned five. I sat her down and told her I was her mother. She was delighted but I believe she had known all along. I thought about running away with her living life on the run as an apostate. Desertion is a death sentence in the Wardens I learned that the day of my joining.

She was so young at the time I was not sure how much to tell her about Cullen. It was more important that she knew we loved each other and her as well. A few years later, I had received a letter from Leliana with his whereabouts. She was eight that year when I told her who he was and what happened at Kinloch hold. I offered to reach out so they could meet. Surprisingly she was not ready; I am not sure if she was afraid or worried about my feelings. So I left it alone thinking with age she may feel differently.

As I told it all to Cullen, he listened intently. He was quiet, introspective, but all of it tinged with sadness. He had agreed to come with us but I wondered how this news might change his feelings towards me. Would he resent me for robbing him of all those years when he could have been a father to her? When we made camp, I was unsure if he would even want to share a tent with me. He walked off into the woods while I watched him concerned.

Alistair reached out to clasp my shoulder. “Give it time,” he offered squeezing my arm.

“I just walked back into his life and dropped this bomb on him. Hey, I know we have not seen each other in ten years but guess what we have a secret love child. I shouldn’t have let so much time pass,” I complained emotion choking my voice.

“Adlyn is not a bomb, she is a lovely surprise. Once he meets her, it will all be worth it. You all deserve to be together for once. Go and rest, I’ll start dinner,” he pushed me toward my tent.

I took off my heavy armor relieved of its weight. Clad in a black linen undershirt and matching black leather pants. I laid down on my bedroll closing my eyes. It had felt good to unburden myself to him. Even if it cost me our newfound relationship at least he would know Adlyn now. She would have another person in her life who cared for her as much as I did.

I woke to deep voices laughing and the distant light of a fire flickering against the canvas tent. I pushed aside the flaps peeking outside to see Alistair and Cullen sitting beside the fire.

“Next thing I knew she had sent her arrow straight into the center of the bullseye. The Arl’s son was in tears being beaten by a girl,” Alistair chortled looking up noticing my approach. “Well I should call it a night, see you in the morning.”

Cullen smile did not disappear as I had expected in fact it grew wider. “Are you hungry?” he asked passing me a plate. “Alistair was telling me stories about Adlyn.”

“How are you handling all this? I thought by now you would have run off or never want to speak to me,” I admitted tearing off chunks of bread.

“I suppose I’m still coming to grips with it.” He grimaced looking guilty not meeting my eyes. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that by yourself. I cannot even imagine. I should have been there for you and her.”

“You didn’t know. I had my friends with me but I know what you mean,” I acknowledged willing him meet my gaze.

“Tell me about her, what was she like as a baby?” he asked staring into the fire.

“She was the most beautiful baby. I’m sure all mothers say that about their children. Nevertheless, it is just as true for me. She had these little wisps of soft blonde curls. The most perfect rosebud mouth and your eyes. It was as if I had this small piece of you back in my life,” I gushed a huge smile spreading across my face. I studied the profile of his face lit by the flickering fire. The years had made his image hazy but his eyes I could never forget. Seeing him lit by the fire she was a replica of him. He finally looked over to meet my eyes his eyes wet with tears.

“I am surprised you haven’t asked if she is like me. A mage I mean…she is completely like me inquisitive, impulsive, and headstrong. She wants to join the Grey Wardens when she is old enough. I think it is so she can remain close to me but I would rather she find her own way. I’m just sorry it took this long for you to know her. There is still time though, time to make new memories.”

“I couldn’t care less if she is a mage or not. I haven’t even met her but I love her already. I have never had anything that I could call mine. I feel so foolish; I should have tried to find you. I guess I just assumed you had moved on,” he confessed standing up and holding out his leather-gloved hand. I placed my hand into his feeling his warmth emanate as he pulled me to my feet.

It was all so much all at once. To have him back like this my heart ached with happiness. He wasn’t the same man I knew, he was better because he was able to find a way through his pain. His hands round around my waist pulling me against the long line of his body. Clad in just his riding leathers grateful there was no metal armor between us. I felt all the stress and worry melt away as his arms held me tight. My arms raised along his back to hold him closer. We stayed that way clinging to one another for comfort.

“Let’s go to bed,” he murmured above my head. My heart picking up speed at the thought. I followed him as he led me back into the dim tent. Standing in the middle of the tent, we simply stared at each other his hands on my hips. I reached up to caress his cheek, the raw need in his eyes warming me. He undressed me slowly taking his time his eyes never leaving mine. I returned the favor my pulse set to racing as I stepped back to enjoy his figure. He had filled out, more chiseled and solid. I smiled to see the same lust mirrored in his eyes.

“Like what you see, Commander?” I asked my hands roaming his wide chest resting on his muscled arms. His own rough hands played along my curves. I shivered a slow ache building inside me.

“Very much,” his breath caressed against my cheek I tilted my face up to find his lips. He cradled the back of my head his tongue finding mine. I opened to him, relishing in the warmth of his mouth. I pulled him down with me onto my bedroll. He kissed along from my shoulder to my neck. Goosebumps rising along my skin in anticipation.

I could feel him solid and waiting pressing against my inner thigh. I squirmed impatiently with the need to feel him inside me again. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered in between his kisses raining down against flushed skin. “I didn’t realize…” he trailed off widening my legs to position himself at my opening. Breathless my arms rose to trace along his arms then to the curve of his back.

“Please…” I begged unable to hold back my desire any longer. His initial thrust tore a harsh gasp from my throat. He held himself deep within me staring down into my eyes. I wanted to drown in his dark eyes. To lose myself in those molten gold orbs. I shuddered to feel him anchored within me. We were one, connected, as I had never felt with anyone but him. Tenderness reflected in his eyes as if he felt the same.

He began to move in rhythm with my own urging. Seeking his lips again, I opened my mouth to deepen our kiss. Gentle at first as his pace increased our lips frantic almost on the edge of bruising. One hand gripped my hip his other cupping my shoulder. I watched as his muscles moved under his skin as he plunged deeper and deeper. His body rose and fell, his hold on my hip tightened. I cried out my eyes rolling back in my head as I rode the waves of pleasure pulsing through me.

I arched pushing my body to meet his, desperate to prolong my release. I fluttered open my eyes staring down my body. Cullen buried his head into my neck while I relished watching his efforts. His breathing hitched as I held him tighter. He groaned spilling himself as I throbbed around him. After he caught his breath he propped himself on his elbows above me.

“That was nice,” he murmured brushed his lips against mine. I laughed as he laid himself beside me gathering me in his arms. “What?” he asked as I played my fingers along his washboard abs a contented smile upon my lips.

“It’s nothing; I just forgot how adorable you are.” My voice sounding far away as I snuggled closer, falling asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Cullen had only felt this nervous a handful of times in his life, mainly just before a battle. Meeting a ten-year-old girl should not have scared him as much it did. When they entered the palace, he lingered behind Phaedra and Alistair. Phaedra had asked that she prepare Adlyn first before introducing them. Walking into the palace, he was quite overwhelmed with the opulence.

He spotted her at once from afar speaking with a group of children her age. There was no mistaking she was his child. Blonde curls bobbed as she spoke excitedly. She turned and saw Phaedra and Alistair her smile a wonder to behold. She practically flew over to them in tiny steps. “Ali!” she exclaim launching herself into his arms as he lifted her then set her quickly back on her feet.

“Adlyn, you know that is no way for a lady to behave,” Alistair teased pulling on a rogue curl for it to bounce back into shape.

“Good thing I’m not a lady then,” she looked up at Phaedra a pleased smile on her face. “I’m so happy to see you both. What did you bring me? Everyone was jealous of the nug you brought me on your last visit.” Her eyes swept the hall and noticed Cullen standing a distance away. Her expression curious and thoughtful she turned her attention back to Phaedra.

“I’ve brought you a very special gift. Let’s go somewhere more private first,” Phaedra beckoned Adlyn to follow but she glanced back at Cullen again before agreeing. Alistair came to stand beside Cullen as he clasped him on the back.

“Breathe…can’t have you passing out in the corridor,” Alistair teased keeping him company and his mind from wandering. They discussed Alistair’s plans for rejoining the Wardens and the future of the Inquisition. After some time reappeared as Phaedra signaled Cullen over to a closed door.

“She would like to speak with you. You two should have some alone time. I need to apprise Anora anyways. Will you be alright?” Phaedra asked seeing how tense his body had become. He nodded anxiously as she squeezed his hand. “You’ll do just fine.” Pushing open the door and guiding him through it.

He glanced around a sitting room her back to him. Watching as she straightened her back then smoothed down her hair. She turned over her shoulder at the sound of the door closing. She smiled wide but uneasy jumping up from her seat. Adlyn started forward then stopped unsure how to greet him. He noticed her lower lip tremble as she tried to master her emotions. His arms opened as if on instinct surprised but pleased she rushed into his arms.

He held her as he felt her shake with her sobs. Stroking her blonde curls, he let her exhaust herself until she grew quiet. She wiped at her tears laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy,” Adlyn sniffled her face flushed pink with emotion.

“I didn’t know…but that doesn’t matter now does it? I want to know everything about you.” They sat across from one another as she told him about her hobbies and friends. Dressed in a mauve colored gown trimmed with gold. She looked like proper young woman with air of mischief around her. He listened intently taking in her mannerisms and expressions. Seeing her this close he noticed traces of Phaedra in her face as well. She had her small upturned nose and oval jawline. Overwhelming though she reminded of him of his younger sister Rosalie. Cullen told her of his life as she listened fascinated. Her eyes flitted around his own face comparing features as he had.

“Mother always said I had your eyes,” she beamed then her face clouded.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Cullen asked wondering what she must be thinking.

“Whenever she would talk about you it made her sad. She told me what happened to you at her Circle. Do you still love her?” Adlyn questioned her eyes downcast.

“I never stopped. That time in both our lives was chaotic. I think we were meant to meet again so we could give ourselves time to heal. I have something for you.” Cullen reached behind his neck to unfasten the amulet.

“Is that the same necklace you gave Mother when she left the tower?” Adlyn asked in a hushed voice leaning closer.

“She told you about that?” She nodded her eyes wide at my offering. “Yes it is but I don’t need its protection anymore. I would like it if you would keep it.” Her smile was tremulous she turned on the spot to lift up her hair. He struggled but finally clasped the silver chain around her neck. She turned back around admiring the amber stone.

“I’ll never take it off, thank you. Can I call you father? I’d only do it in private, like with mother.” He felt a lump rise in his throat.

“Nothing would make me happier,” he grinned the corner of his mouth pulling to one side. “I’m hoping now that I’m here maybe we can change that.”


	11. Chapter 11

The next couple of days were the happiest of my life. I tried to not count the days until I had to leave them both trying to focus on them and making memories. Alistair and Cullen showed her the basic skills of sword and shield. I wondered if he would be bothered of her tomboy traits but I could tell he was pleased she showed interest in learning. Adlyn reveled in his attention showing off her talent with bow and arrow. She had improved much since that last time I visited. Each arrow hitting its target with ease as we cheered her on.

That afternoon we rode horses around the outskirts of Denerim. I laid out on the grass watching Cullen and Adlyn play chess on a stump of a tree. I smiled at their serious faces as they studied their pieces laid out on the board. The guilt of leaving them was ever on my mind. Adlyn sadly was used to it, Cullen on the other hand knew all about duty. I tried to push those thoughts away noticing the sky darken. I collected the plates from our picnic overhearing Cullen call out checkmate. Adlyn gave a disgruntled groan but still grinned as she considered his move.

Riding back to the palace we left the horses in their stables. Adlyn yawned widely as her eyes blinked slow with exhaustion. Cullen scooped her up as her head lulled languidly against his chest. His smile warming my heart as he cradled her to him. We walked the quiet halls our footsteps echoing. I held open her door as he carried her in. Pulling back her covers, he laid her down with care. She did not wake but rolled onto one side hugging a pillow to her chest. Cullen pulled her shoes off setting them beside her bed.

I tucked her blanket around her smoothing her soft curls out of her face. Laying a soft kiss on her forehead, I stood up. Cullen did the same as we looked back from her door. He hugged me to his side. “Can you believe we made her? She is…amazing,” he whispered as we closed her door. “I reeked of horse.”

“Yes, you do.” I smirked pushing him playfully. “Go take a bath; I need to check in with Alistair. I’ll join you after.” I called walking down the hall towards Alistair’s room. Knocking on his door, I waited leaning on the nearby wall. The door parted as Alistair arched an eyebrow in question. Hair slightly tousled he belted a white robe around his body. I pushed past him my arms crossed in front of my body. Glaring at him with a troubled expression.

“Don’t give me that look. You know we’ve already stayed longer than we planned,” Alistair complained mirroring my body language.

“Can’t you just say I was killed in a druffalo stampede?” I whined then we both broke out in laughter at the image. “Everything is going so well…I hate to leave them.” I rubbed my arms trying to comfort myself.

“They will be fine. Now that we have contacts in the Inquisition I’m sure we will be able to visit more.” Alistair relaxed his arms reaching out to comfort me.

“I want to thank you. If you had not pushed me to visit Skyhold I would have spent the rest of my life wondering.” I hugged him tight in my arms tears pricking at my eyes. Stepping back, I looked up into his face flushed with embarrassment.

“I just want you and Adlyn to be happy. Go get some rest, we leave midday tomorrow.” Alistair stepping back to open his door for me. Nodding I wished him a good night as I left. I crept down the opposite hall to Cullen’s room. Entering quietly I could make out the sounds of splashing water.

Cullen lay sprawled in a large tub his head leaned back, eyes closed. I paused to gaze at his relaxed expression noticing the damp blonde curls haloed around his head. Scattered candles bathed him in a soft glowing light. Before the night was over, I wanted to look upon his face while I rode him to his end. Silently I undressed leaving my clothes pooled onto the floor. He seemed to sense me his head turned eyes opening to slits. Taking in my nakedness a slow spread across his lips.

“You look scrumptious,” I purred stepping up behind him as he moved to make room. I splayed my legs alongside his body hugging his back to my chest. Taking the soap, I lathered it in my hands. I spread small circles onto his wet warm skin. Running my hands over his body capturing every muscle and scar. His skin a contradiction, hard with muscle yet soft. He leant back against my chest as I gently ran my fingers through his hair.

He sighed as I held him close enjoying the warmth and closeness of our bodies. His arms wrapped around each of my legs stroking up and down. “Your turn,” Cullen soaped his hands an eager smirk at the corner of his mouth. He turned in the water to face me as I dipped my head back to wet my hair. His hands traced along my skin. I shivered the heat of his gaze darkening his eyes.

Hands teased along my ribs stopping under my breasts. My lips pursed feigning disappointment as my hands dipped below the water. I caressed his inner thighs hands searching to find him stiff and ready. A sly smile graced my lips as licked my lips in anticipation. His wolfish eyes reflecting a deep hunger as he cupped my ass pulling me closer to his hips. I ran my tongue over his skin licking at the water beading at his neck, tasting his pulse. He kissed the tops of my breast his fingers finding my heat. He rubbed slowly back and forth at my core. I stroked him unhurried enjoying the friction of his hands. I settled myself above his hips positioning him at my opening. He felt impossibly large the water fighting my own wetness.

As I pushed down the length of him, he sighed eyes closing. I gripped his jaw with one hand bringing my mouth down to his. His mouth opened to mine as I slipped my tongue to meet his. He moaned into my mouth as I sucked his tongue. I began to move deliberately slow taking him in. His hands at the small of my back clenched tighter. He ran his mouth over my breast finding a hardened nipple. I gasped as his mouth sucked hard feeling myself clench even tighter around him.

A warm stirring began to pulse within as I worked him. The water began to splash over the sides of the tub. My hands encircled his neck as jolts of pleasure racked my body. I trembled pressing our bodies closer the water-cooling on my exposed skin. He wrapped his arms tight around me gingerly lifting me with him as he stood up. I buried my face into his neck as I wrapped my legs about him afraid he would slip or drop me.

Effortlessly he tried to lay me down on his bed. As he did, I rolled with him so I straddled him again. Water trickled down my body as arched back against him. He sat up to kiss the water off my skin. I held him to me watching his face, hands at my hips encouraging my wild thrusts. I could feel his heart race along with mine. Rushing heat built within my body as body leaned back his eyes closing. His fingernails dug into my skin quickening my efforts.

I spasmed with another climax staring down into his lovely eyes. A small groan escaped his lips as he spilled himself into me. I shuddered opening my mouth to his taste him once more. We lay back against the damp bedding satisfied smiles on our faces.

“Can I ask you a question?” Cullen probed staring up at the ceiling.

“Yes…” I answered unsure of what he might ask. I turned onto my stomach moving my body closer to his.

“The night before your Harrowing, you could have chosen anyone. Why me?” Turning on his side his fingers played with the cleft of my back his smile pulling to one side.

I grinned thinking back on that day so long ago. “I remember looking around the library you caught my eye. You gave me the saddest smile.” I brushed my fingertip across his lips. “I supposed I picked you because of your smile. After the night in the Harrowing Chamber, that was it for me. I knew I would never feel what I felt for anyone but you.” He smiled leaning over to kiss my shoulder. 

Death had ever circled around me and directed my decisions. I sought out a connection before my Harrowing never knowing how he choosing him would alter my life. All too aware that my path as a Warden ended in madness and death. Unexpectedly I found in his arms acceptance, understanding, and love. Adlyn was proof of that; when it came time for my calling I would no longer fear it. I still could not shake how unfair it was to them always pulled away because of my obligation.

“I know what you are thinking…I’d rather have a few moments with you than none at all. I’ve always been proud of who you are and what you continue to do.” He pulled me closer seeing the guilt on my face. “I’ve been thinking…I would like to take Adlyn back with me to Skyhold. I would ask her of course, I know she has a life here. She would not have to hide who she is there. And neither would you,” he explained smiling down at me. The idea thrilled me, imaging them together at Skyhold. Adlyn given the chance to be who she is for once. I turned on my side to face him.

“I do like the idea of you having each other to rely upon. Anora will take offense at first but she will understand.” I thought on his proposal. He would have the chance to raise her. To be that better person with her as a reminder. She always reminded me of him; it was how I was able to keep him close. Her face a constant reminder of all the love I wished I could pass unto him. “She is going to wrap you around her little finger.” I smiled imaging all the future scenarios in which she may test him.

“What do we do now?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well I accomplished what I wanted. I just want to lie in your arms. Do you have any suggestions?” I solicited sliding my body over his to kiss along his chest.

“I don’t plan on either of us getting much rest tonight.” He whispered against my ear tightening my chest.


	12. Chapter 12

Cullen watched as Phaedra pulled Adlyn aside to say her goodbye. She kneeled down to be on a level with her daughter. What might have been a tear-filled farewell instead was full of smiles. He wanted to hear what they were saying to one another but turned to shake hands with Alistair.

“I can’t ever thank you enough for making this possible. You are a true friend and I’m glad she will have you to watch her back,” Cullen smiled pulled a surprised Alistair into a quick embrace.

“Don’t mention it. Phaedra said that you would be taking Adlyn back with you. Keep both eyes on her she can get into a mess of trouble but I am sure you will manage. You are a lucky man, I hope you know that.” Alistair advised glancing toward the both of them.

“You know I wouldn’t have ever said that before but I certainly am now.” Cullen agreed watching Adlyn wrap her arms around Phaedra’s neck. They walked back toward them their hands clasped together. Adlyn hugged Alistair tight squealing with delight as he swung her in a fast circle. Cullen put his hands around her waist pulling her into a tender kiss. She covered her mouth to stifle a yawn a knowing smile on her face.

“Write me as often as you can. I won’t say take care of her because I know you will. Commander of the Inquisition…now a father. I know you will be amazing, I just wish I could be there with you.” She admitted looking up into his eyes.

“You will be. I have something for you. Adlyn came up with the idea.” Cullen placed a small silver frame into her palm. Her face curious she pried it open, inside were miniature portraits of both of them. A talented artist had captured their likeness in stunning detail. Tears misted her eyes as she caressed their images with care.

“Do you like it?” Adlyn asked peering up at Phaedra’s delighted expression.

“It’s perfect! I will look at it each night before I go to sleep. Thank you both.” Cullen lifted Adlyn up so they could all three hug together. Phaedra looked at them once more before turning to pull herself up on her horse.

“Adlyn, you remembered what you promised me,” Phaedra called reaching for the reins.

“Don’t worry, I will!” Adlyn exclaimed exchanged a nod with Phaedra. She blew them a kiss before turning her horse towards Alistair.

They both watched as Alistair and Phaedra cantered down the path. Phaedra turned to wave at them once more dust kicking up behind their quickening pace. Cullen and Adlyn waved until they were both specks on the horizon. “What did you promise, if I may ask?” Cullen queried looking into her familiar amber eyes.

“She wanted me to promise to take care of you. And that is what I intend to do,” Adlyn laced her arms around his neck hugging him. A pleased smile tugged at his lips as he squeezed her back.

“I think maybe you are too old to be held or I need to work out more,” Cullen groaned attempting to set her back down.

Adlyn giggled grabbing his hand as they walked back to the palace. “I can’t wait to see Skyhold! What is the Inquisitor like? I heard she could shoot bolts of green lightning from her hand. Is that true?” Before he could answer, she launched into another string of questions. He grinned at her apparent excitement listening as she jumped from one topic to another.

“Whoa, one question at a time. First, let us go make sure you are packed. We have a dinner Anora organized for you and your friends tonight. Are you certain you want to leave your home?” Cullen peered down at her slightly guilty for wanting her with him.

“You’re my home now,” Adlyn beamed swinging his hand as she skipped along beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always wanted to play with the notion that mage warden had a child with Cullen. Cross that one off my list. I may add more chapters including Trespasser but need to finish my additional chapter on Spell Bound. It's a crime there is no smut in that work, time to rectify that. Thanks as always for reading!


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